Do you have any change on you?

Well It has been 5 months since I started losing weight and it has been quite a journey.  You know, I recently compared myself to Frodo from Lord of the Rings in that, I had a journey and a task to accomplish and thanks to my awesome support I'll get there.  Ok, well may be you won't see the similarities on here because I post once a week briefly about my journey, but trust me, I couldn't be succeeding in my life without my support.  When I made the decision to change my lifestyle I have to be honest, I didn't think I'd actually do it. When I signed up for WW the end of December I have to be honest, I didn't think I'd stick with it.  When I lost 5lbs I have to be honest, I just thought I'd gain it back (and more).  I have never been sure about my succeeding in my changes-after all, I have been living life undisciplined and growing worse for 26 years.  I thought my trying to "fix" my life was a result of my being hit by a car and all the chaos that came with it-as a way to control SOMETHING in my life when so little has been manageable over the last year.  I remember feeling so awkward in my first meeting, by myself, late to weigh-in, and hoping my friend Elizabeth wouldn't snub me.  I didn't know what exactly I was getting into, but I jumped head first.  When I started this blog, it wasn't for you, it was for me...I thought, well may be people will ask me about this and then that'll be motivating to keep it up so I don't fail in front of everyone I know.
Now 37lbs later, I still find myself wondering if I'm going to give up, fail.  I wonder if I'm going to binge eat.  I wonder if I'll spiral out of control and end up like so many of the patients at my work-unable to get out of their chairs, walk, may be lose their leg, teeth.  I fear living unhealthily.  We all were not meant to live like that.   Then I remember my day-to-day living; where I don't want to cook and my thoughts wonder was fast-food restaurant I want...and nothing sounds good.  So I make veggies and a lean meat dinner.  Where I choose strawberries over pop-tarts.  Where I choose one cookie over 5 because I remember how I feel afterward.  Where I no longer like or enjoy the feeling full and overly stuffed after a meal.  Where veggies make me feel "cleaner" on the inside.  Where I choose foods that wake me up and not bog me down.  Then I start thinking, may be I have changed.  Just may be I am now a healthy living girl after all.  May be I am past the point of no return where even if I do have a bad-food day that immediately my first thought it "how can I make up for it tomorrow?"  May be it has now become important to practice what I preach to all of my patients. 
I now right this blog not only for myself, but to encourage those who read it that I can do you-you can do it.  Lets give my hospital less reasons to grow.  Lets look to our kids and future grand kids and how we can make our lives together not just longer, but happier, more content, more quality.