Its good to see you down there!

Elizabeth said it best "It all begins with One!"

I realize its been a while since I've written and I'm sorry, there really has been too much going on to keep my away from my laptop. 

The good news is, for the first time in about 10 years, I weigh under 200lbs!  199.8 was my official weigh in this week.  YAY! I celebrated by eating healthy, and then planning a splurge day at Worlds of Fun riding all the fun rides and eating things like Cinnabons.  Ironically enough, I totally regret eating terrible--my stomach was not happy this morning, but I did NOT go over my weekly points, which is fantastic.  I have been traveling and took on the new challenge of "real world" eating, meaning that I left my meal plan behind and challenged myself to eat healthy by the seat of my pants.  I did very well I must say.  The key is to portion control and use logic to determine what you should eat. 

I'm also excited to say my the best friend has joined me in the weight loss adventure.  She is doing very very well.  She was not happy when I coaxed her (may be tricked her) into walking a 5k with me one hot afternoon.  Its good to have more support. 

I realize all in all this is very short and choppy, but I wanted to stop in and give an update of what's going on.  I hope to be back with my new 50lbs loss soon and that will entail all sorts of fun new pictures and goals!

until then--live well!

Has it been worth it really?

Well today I weighed in at a great 204.0, it feels great.  Of course I can't wait until I see the big (or small) 199.  I was working really hard this week to set some new disciplines into my life and make some new changes.  I realized that there are thing even if it says its 0pts that I need to count as 1-2pts because of what its done to my weight.  I am now walking, taking a workout class (belly dancing hey!) with my sisters and hopefully can take one more class somewhere soon.  I am still eating a very healthy breakfast and am starting to look out my sodium counts especially at nights.  I have noticed my body is starting to change its response to things and I am actually becoming much more sensitive to things I put in my body (and that's not necessarily a bad thing).  I have over time decreased my milk and dairy intake because of lactose sensitivity (I won't use intolerance because its only when I have it in excess).  I also would like to decrease my corn and gluten intake due to some stomach issues these food items have been linked to that I've had.  All that to say, wow, I cannot believe I am looking like a health freak.  hahaha!  I would say that I have genuinely changed, I want different things than I used to, my cravings are changing.  That's what this is all about, teaching myself how to live healthy in a normal and everyday way.  I've began to let how my body feels steer my decisions over how food tastes. 
With that said, something happened with joining ww I didn't expect.  I've made friends, a social network.  Not just in my meeting, but in the early morning meeting as well.  There specifically two girls I have connected with who I have loved getting to know and you know, that makes a big difference with how motivated I am to keep going.  I look forward to seeing these girls- the down side being they are in two different meetings so now I find myself wanting to change up which one I go to.  This isn't just something I've squeezed into my budget and schedule, this has added a whole new dynamic to who I am.  Its become intertwined with who I am now. 
Somewhere down the road I started caring about how I treated myself and made changes to be proud of it.  I can say I think I look good-I appreciate when I catch a guy's eye because I think  I agree with him....I look good.  I know I have a long way to go before I am satisfied with my weight, but I am so enjoying the results along the way-the body, decisions and friends.
~you reap what you sow.

Forty is SOOOO the new Twenty

Well I know its been a while since I've post but let me tell this blog is worth reading!!!!

Lets start by what the weeks immediately following my last post looked like.  I was 3lbs away from hitting the big 4-0 and I was excited to get there.  I was eating right, walking about 2 days a week for an hour or so, staying away from too many bad things and limiting and finding ways to shave off points from bad things I did eat.  I was so stoked to see my weight drop.....but it didn't.  not at all.  not one ounce.  not any day.  not any night.  I. Was. Stuck.  and FRUSTRATED!!!!! I said "surely I wouldn't plateau 3lbs before my 40 and 7lbs before I reached 199?!?!?!?!"  But the scale didn't change....except...TO GO UP!!!! nonononononononono this cannot be right!  I am doing everything I know to do.  I am eating fruit, protein, lean meats, salads, diet sodas, waters, teas, avoided breads, avoided fast food, avoided my soy lattes!!!!!!! All to have the scale go up?!?!?!?  So I sat down one night and said to myself "what would Martha tell me?" (Martha being my WW leader)  I had missed my last meeting-I was apparently not feeling well and exhausted and literally slept through three alarms.  I missed WW and couldn't wait to get back there.  So after thinking it though on Monday, the only change that I could come up with to make was to start eating a bigger breakfast.  I am used to eating between a 2-6 point breakfast (the 2 points consisted of coffee and creamer and I noted that I had made a bit of a habit making that my only breakfast mos days).   I thought-may be if I eat a bigger breakfast my body's metabolism will boost, I'll least less points at lunch and dinner, and may be the scale will drop.  Meanwhile at work, my co-worker had asked me if I wanted to go to an impromptu WW meeting since we'd both missed and felt the need to go, so we went.  IT WAS SOOOOO PAINFUL!!!! Not only did I have my very first weigh-in gain, but the leader was no where near at relatable as my awesome Martha.   However, the topic of conversation this week happened to be on the importance of breakfast--hmmmmm, I was just saying the same thing myself.  So my co-worker and I got pumped about breakfast and over the next week we ate it up!  I moved my breakfast points to an average of 8 points each and every day (11 on Sunday--cuz I had my latte!).  Finally the scale moved back down to the plateau level, and then slightly passed, and yesterday morning after three long weeks I hit my 40lbs! Even after eating cookies on Saturday and two catered meals on Sunday I still hit my 40 again this morning!  Breakfast did it, I truly think that is making a world of difference.  My body is happy again, I feel like I overcame a huge obstacle and now am ready for the next leg of my journey.
I am now looking back at my next landmark goals, in case you don't remember from way back in March I'll fill you in:
At 194.2lbs I will
1.be below 200 for the first time since my junior year of highschool
2.have lost 20% of my weight
3.be at my 50lbs loss
4.post some new before and after pictures (including the one that was a wake up call to my weight)
5.be working out 2-3 days a week
6.be in a size 14-16
7.set my ultimate goal
All that to say these next 10lbs are very important to me because it is the closing of one chapter of my "get healthy" theme, and into the next one.

BTW....I LOOK GOOOOOOOOOOOOD! ;) hahahahaha

Do you have any change on you?

Well It has been 5 months since I started losing weight and it has been quite a journey.  You know, I recently compared myself to Frodo from Lord of the Rings in that, I had a journey and a task to accomplish and thanks to my awesome support I'll get there.  Ok, well may be you won't see the similarities on here because I post once a week briefly about my journey, but trust me, I couldn't be succeeding in my life without my support.  When I made the decision to change my lifestyle I have to be honest, I didn't think I'd actually do it. When I signed up for WW the end of December I have to be honest, I didn't think I'd stick with it.  When I lost 5lbs I have to be honest, I just thought I'd gain it back (and more).  I have never been sure about my succeeding in my changes-after all, I have been living life undisciplined and growing worse for 26 years.  I thought my trying to "fix" my life was a result of my being hit by a car and all the chaos that came with it-as a way to control SOMETHING in my life when so little has been manageable over the last year.  I remember feeling so awkward in my first meeting, by myself, late to weigh-in, and hoping my friend Elizabeth wouldn't snub me.  I didn't know what exactly I was getting into, but I jumped head first.  When I started this blog, it wasn't for you, it was for me...I thought, well may be people will ask me about this and then that'll be motivating to keep it up so I don't fail in front of everyone I know.
Now 37lbs later, I still find myself wondering if I'm going to give up, fail.  I wonder if I'm going to binge eat.  I wonder if I'll spiral out of control and end up like so many of the patients at my work-unable to get out of their chairs, walk, may be lose their leg, teeth.  I fear living unhealthily.  We all were not meant to live like that.   Then I remember my day-to-day living; where I don't want to cook and my thoughts wonder was fast-food restaurant I want...and nothing sounds good.  So I make veggies and a lean meat dinner.  Where I choose strawberries over pop-tarts.  Where I choose one cookie over 5 because I remember how I feel afterward.  Where I no longer like or enjoy the feeling full and overly stuffed after a meal.  Where veggies make me feel "cleaner" on the inside.  Where I choose foods that wake me up and not bog me down.  Then I start thinking, may be I have changed.  Just may be I am now a healthy living girl after all.  May be I am past the point of no return where even if I do have a bad-food day that immediately my first thought it "how can I make up for it tomorrow?"  May be it has now become important to practice what I preach to all of my patients. 
I now right this blog not only for myself, but to encourage those who read it that I can do you-you can do it.  Lets give my hospital less reasons to grow.  Lets look to our kids and future grand kids and how we can make our lives together not just longer, but happier, more content, more quality. 

i'm on fire! no really....

ok tragedy unveiled this weekend as i was on my way to my weekly meetings to excitedly weigh in was i was hoping was a huge loss.  i had enough time to stop at starbucks for my usual venti soy no whip cinnamon dolce latte.  long story short, i came outside and my car was on fire.  no big deal, seriously, was out in an instant, but i missed my meeting. i did get a new car though.  i did my own "weigh-in" and weighed in at a whopping 209.6 which is a loss of 3.4lbs!  okay so i have been tracking this weekend and i am so far doing very well, i have only used 11 points of my weekly stash which is phenomenal considering i went to a royals game and had mexican on sunday.  so far so good!  i am almost in a size 14...woohoo! i am loving this journey.

temped tasted and totally tossed out tracking

Well I did it.  I hit my 30 mark...31.2 to be exact! YAY.  unfortunately that all went out the window when i ate...and ate...and ate.  oops. ok so confession.  weekends are tough for me.  I want a break from all the discipline so i relax, stop tracking, and eat.  I like to save the majority of my weekly points for the weekend because #1. its the weekend, and #2. Its the first two days after my meeting and that gives me the following 5 days to get it together again. Now, I try to really not overdue it, but for those of you who are experienced at all....every now and again a tune up is in order. So last weekend I knew I had over did it, I did not know by how much but I figured I needed to start tracking over the weekend...which ironically enough was the topic of conversation in this week's weight watcher meeting.  So, I did pretty good Saturday with my latte for breakfast, chipotle burrito bowl salad for lunch, and oklahoma joe's for dinner (did i say good? hehe I meant ok).  I used all my daily points and 12 weekly points...nope, I meant 30....I forgot the fries.  Sunday...easter....need I say more?!?!?! holy cow, I used appx 80 points that day....more than double my daily allowance! ok, so that was really really REALLY bad.  Here's my deal....Wow, I am glad a tracked! Because I have set myself up for success the rest of the week, planning healthy meals, lots of fruit and small low point treats to tied me over.  I feel full and satisfied, and like I could still lose weight even if I was the very definition of a glutton  this weekend.  That's what its all about, the fact that I am finally realizing, I don't have to go on month long (or longer) binges and month long diets anymore, I can feel great about eating healthy and even feel great that even if a mess up, I can still get it right the next day. 
On the "body" side of things, I notice my body is feel looser, which is nice to not feel bloated or restrained in my own body.  On the down side, I am getting flabby! gross! lol I feel like jell-o sometimes with how un-toned my body is.  On the up side, my dear friend Elizabeth handed me a bag full of her "down-a-size" collection and I am super excited to say I can easily fit into them. I remember her wearing these items and I get excited that may be I look that good! 
Working out....O man, I want to work out, but I haven't really found my nitch yet.  I wish I knew what it was that I like to do for working out. 
Ok, I am done rambling, but I will say that overall, I feel great and my instructor quoted a fellow member and I will do my best to replicate it.  "Its hard to track food, eat right, discipline your body.  Its hard to look in a crowded room and feel like the fattest person there, to have low self-esteem, and to feel trapped in your own body--you have to choose your 'hard'".

Missing the Mark

Well, I didn't gain, but I didn't hit my mark...I wanted that 30lbs this week.  My weigh-in??? 29.8!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?! .2lbs off!  I know I know, I'll hit it next week, but COME ON! So how did I handle this "devestation"? lol Well, after the meeting I went to Starbucks for my venti soy latte, after work, I went to  Chipotle....and got a full 22pt burrito and chips and guac, o and a soda (non-diet).  Why?!?!?! I didn't enjoy the burrito and couldn't finish it or the chips, but why did I feel the need to just go back to my old ways? O man, I felt terrible.  It was so silly, I really ate what I shouldn't and even though I allow some grace and weekly points for my weekends, I set myself for a failed weekend.  I mean, if I had evaluated my situation, I'd have to be honest about the fact that I didn't work out at all this week.  Not once, besides the previous weekend.  So how mad could I be, that 30 is mine, its there, I just have to keep a cool head.  I spent the rest of the weekend very cautious of over indulgence. I had a banquet that night and so I filled up on salad and green beans first and then hit the other stuff, o i ate that cheesecake and dinner roll....but it was the smaller portions I chose.  Today being sunday, I had mexican and pot pie, nothing abnormal there from any other sunday.  All that to say, tomorrow I have to start again, get a grip, and realize that my choices are benefiting my health and that the numbers should come secondary to that.  I will say, I remember the day where I could down a large chipotle burrito, chip and guac, and a large soda without blinking.  I'm glad I am no longer able to do that.

Better a Has-been than a Never-was. But better a Never-was than a Never-tried-to-be.
Anonymous

Playfully healthy

So I have started to only post once a week, but I couldn't resist the urge to comment on my latest finding.  Throughout the last couple of weeks, I realized something, I have slowly started to make a community of healthy strivers around me.  Virtually everyday, I am approached or approach someone in my work, church, online who want to talk health.  WOW! Is this really who I am becoming??? Someone who is known by my friends, co-workers, and family as a go-to person for encouragement, advice, experiences.  I hope so, not for my own pride, but rather for my own support.  I find when I am told or tell someone that we should choose an orange over icecream and can have the icecream tomorrow if we plan for it, that not only do I make the right choices, but I also feel like I've taken yet another step in the right direction.  Community and buddies are really the way to go.  When you make healthy living a part of your every day community and conversation its really hard to not make it a part of you.  So rather than be embarrassed about losing weight and joining weight watchers, I suck it up and shout it loud and proud! its a good way to create accountability. :)

Reviewing the old

Well, this week I've lost a whopping 28.8lbs.  I biked 16 miles and went roller skating with friends.  Another successful week. 

Here's this weeks review....
I have never seen myself as fat.  O, I saw the numbers on the scale and in my mind i KNEW I was obese, but I never saw it in the mirror or photos (like everyone says you're supposed to).  I tried and tried and tried, but couldn't see myself for what I was....unhealthy.  It wasn't until about 25 minutes ago when I was looking through old photos of me over the last year and a half that I finally saw it. HOLY COW! I mean wow, why didn't anyone tell me! I look at those photos and think "how in the sweet world did I get like this?!?!?!?"  I mean, my face! my legs!, my ARMS! o wow....I had no idea.  I guess, my life has finally had a reality check.  Here I have had a crazy year full of out of control circumstances...yet thanks to that ride, I have finally seen out out of control my life has always been.  Emotionally, mentally, physically.  I can't believe I am going to admit this-but thank God I was hit by a car.  I SAID IT! I would not be here where I am (on the path to health and balance) if it had not been for that. What a long journey back from chaos, but the promise land is worth it.

How I got here.

Today I got an "anchor" for losing 25lbs.  I had decided earlier this week that I would post exactly how I got to be 247lbs.  First, let me first say that I have thus far exercised 5 times this week for a grand total of 35miles on the bike with medium resistance.

Okay so let me start by saying that as a kid I had bad cravings.  My tongue loved the taste of certain foods.  Specifically I remember sneaking food all the time: sugar, butter (yes butter), chocolate bark, peanut butter, candy, cookies, etc.  As I got older, say pre-teen, I remember my first emotional binge.  I was having a hard time feeling loved and accepted (as every other girl) and I just thought to myself "if I just eat as much as my dad does, he'll be impressed".  If you know my dad at all, he is skinny as a toothpick but can put it away like a NFL superstar.  So one morning, I copied my dad exactly with 4 eggo waffles and a boat full of butter and syrup.  My dad was NOT impressed, instead he scolded me (as any good parent should do) and tried to get it through my head that that was way to much for a little girl.  Instead of being able to receive the correcting I took it as an act of unlove and an emotional scar.  That was the beginning of my emotional binges; and since I was homeschool and often times spent a lot of time alone in the house, I had plenty of opportunity to eat whatever, whenever.  I snuck food all the time.  My first weigh-in in highschool was a shocker: I was 5'6, 14 years old and 189lbs.  My self-esteem was rock bottom, I had a food addiction and fed myself to make myself feel better.  This continued throughout highschool, by the time I graduated I was a fantastic 225lbs.  After highschool is when the "dieting" began.  Mostly, I struggled with starving, fasting, bulimic, binging type behaviors, where I was either not eating at all, or I was eating everything in site.  I took several exercise classes in junior college and the did help my heart to improve but never stuck with any of them.  Over the years I began to balance out.  I had created some nasty eating habits, but overall I was consistant and the binging and starving had stopped.  I started my second degree in 2007 and that is when my weight shot up to the 245lbs range.  After two years of surviving school with lattes, late night dinners, and no time to exercise, I was done in.  It was after I started my full-time job that I began to take a passion in caring about my body.  I see patients who have been on the same road as me and after 50-60 years they are unable to care for themselves in any way, shape, or form.  I started working out more consistantly (not enough to lose weight but enough to improve my endurance).  My sisters wedding was around that time and I was determined to fit into this dress.  I starved and worked my butt into that dressed. From there I felt motivated to continue.  I put a meal plan in place where my late night foods for gone (no eating after 6pm), my breakfast should be healthy and my lunch I could do whatever.  I lost around 10lbs with that.  That was when I hit by a car (we all know this story so I will keep it short), in a matter of 2 weeks I went from 235 to 225 (and that was before my jaw was wired shut) then down to 220.  Every complimented me on how great I looked and my only thought was "yeah, this is NOT an ideal weight loss plan".  So I went into survival mode and after going on some anti-depressants to get me through the healing time, I managed to gain every bit back of my 247lbs.  I had become more active physically, when my body would let me, and just found I saw myself for what I was....Someone whose life was out of control and on a very destructive path.  I got off the anti-depressants, and started on a journey to gain health and balance in my life.  That brings us to december when I decided I had spent 26 years eating whatever I wanted and leading myself down a path of misery; now I was going to spend the next 26 years gaining health and happiness. 

And that's how I approach my weight loss.  Everything I do points to something healthy I can keep up for the rest of my lift. :)

10%

Well, today I weighed in and hit my first goal...10% of my body weight.  So I originally said at that point I'd post my original weight and a picture. ok ok ok so i didn't think it'd be difficult to do once i got to this point but i'm true to my word, so.....
Original weight....247lbs
Current weight....219.6lbs
Original pant size....18/20 (more 20 than 18, but i squeezed)
Current pant size....16/18
Original shirt size....XXL
Current shirt size....L/XL
Changes I've noticed....I can bend over without feeling like I'm going to lose my breath.  I can walk up stairs without panting.  I am slowly getting high level activity endurance (ie running, biking).  People can tell I'm losing weight without me telling them, I'm not able to wear pants I was wearing in December, I make wiser food choices without trying, people are asking me for advice and accountability, I feel successful.
The biggest thing is I don't feel like a hypocrite anymore in my job field; I feel like I believe what I teach.  I feel healthy, I enjoy healthy options and don't feel deprived, I can eat whatever I want, I am proud of myself.

My next goals:
Weight....199lbs
Pants....14/16
Shirt....L
Food....More red meat and fruit
Activities....Exercise 2-3 times a week

Hard Work

Well I am telling you, weight loss is a roller coaster of an experience.  You celebrate you victories, look down on stagnancy or inclines and over all are probably never 100% happy with the results ("if only i could get rid of my flabby arms, saggy butt, rolling thighs, etc").  I was just venting yesterday that my appetite had changed (which seemed like an awesome the week before when i nibbled at a small portion of icecream instead of gorging on 2 cups or it without hesitating or thinking about it).  I was not hungry,  food was boring, gross tasting, nothing sounded good.  Then still needing to eat 23points at 8pm i forced down half a 11point chipotle burrito bowl, it then came back up around 10pm.   I was feeling flabby and fat (despite my sister's great compliment on how skinny im looking).  I was frustrated that the scale had not moved much at all.   Well, today was much more of the same, no appetite, not satisfaction with what i ate (well may be the piece of garlic bread), nothing.  AND YET, i wore a smaller size shirt today, noticed my scrub pants actually had room in the legs, and biggest of all...i wore a size down jean that i honestly didn't think i'd fit into yet.  the scale is looking smaller today and my weigh-in should be very promising.  I say all this to say, i'm sure i'm going to go through seasons of good and bad times with this weight loss and (heaven forbid) even a gain or two.  But the ultimate goal remains the same, be healthy for the next 26 years.  And i'm on the track that leads to that.

Well into a jouney...

Here I am 18lbs down and it sometimes feels like a billion more to go.  I am settled into a new way of eating and enjoy the adventure of trying new things.  I love my meetings and my leaders.  I have all the support one person could ever imagine.  My friends Elizabeth, Laura, Morgan, and Margo have embarked with me and I could NOT be doing this without them.  They inspire and uplift me.  One thing I've learned-food is controlled by me, not the other way around.  That means I shouldn't spend two minutes stressing over it.  I have provided myself with lots of outlets to help keep ME in control.  Life is so pleasant right now.  Outside of weight and physical health so many other things are coming into balance and control.  I am enjoying picking things I like to eat that seems bad but fits easily into my healthy living-here's a few:

Stir Fry
Steak and potatos
Any Chicken
Asparagus
Cinnamon Sugar Bagels
Soy Lattes
Tea
Fajitas
Shrimp in a Lemon Sauce
Dove Chocolates
Apples
Pineapples
Chipotle
Jimmy John's
Breakfast Sandwiches
CHEESE!!!!

As you can see, I am suffering. lol  HERE'S TO HEALTHY LIVING!!!

A needed update

Well, it has been a while since I've updated I realize and I am down 13lbs! I'm starting to notice I look slimmer (I won't use the word skinny yet), my pants are getting saggy (especially in the butt area), and I am no longer wearing spanx.  I am very motivated right now to stay on track.  With that said, Valentine's day was a little crazy; lets just say I started with Krispie Kreme and ended with Cheesecake Factory.  YET!!!!!! I have still lost weight this week.  I am drinking more water naturally, crave fruit, search for protein and enjoy a small sweet every day.  I think filling fulfilled and not deprived with the biggest most important factor with this.  I am also excited about the nice weather, because I hope to start working out again soon, although I haven't decided where yet if anyone has FREE ideas, or ALMOST FREE ideas.  I am hoping the working gym opens up again soon since the "black flood".  Well,  there isn't much more to say other than if you have been following me-thank you I appreciate your interest and support in this journey.  Also, I hope that through this people can feel encouraged. 

>10

Well, this has been quite the week, last I truly blogged it left you with my weight being down 9.5lbs.  After that, this week was a roller coaster of a week with weight, 90% due to the monthly man, he fought a good fight with cravings and water weight.  Also, Superbowl, fought a good fight.  So I crawled and counted my way through the entire week only using 9 weekly points, giving into cravings within reason so that my body felt satisfied.  Not only did I fluctuate up to 3-4 lbs during the last week, but now that the week is up, I've left it ultimately down 10.5lbs!  This is the stuff that lifetime changes are made up of, struggles, give-ins, and victories.  Martha, my WW leader quoted "Victory isn't never failing, its never giving up".

1.5min:5min run x20min

Day 1 of exercise. 1:5min run x25min

A Lifetime.

I was feeling a little down, as in my previous post.  First, the girl that started the week after me is ahead of me in points, then I didn't quite make 10lbs this week, then I really wanted all the bad food in the world this week, and the list goes on and on.

This week's meeting was titled: If you drop one egg it doesn't mean you throw the rest on the floor.  It was much needed, it talked about feeling discouraged, messing up, losing track, gaining weight.  All those thing will happen at some point in our journey, it doesn't mean you give up.  I needed that.  I felt myself feeling like binging and competing with the other girl.  I begin to tell myself: slow and steady wins this race, this is for me not her, this is for the rest of your life, a lose is still a lose, not gaining any is still a lose.  My pants are fitting loser, my tummy is smaller, my body feels better.  I have these draw string sweats that I wear at night, but the string is tied in a knot...today when I got out of bed, I loved when they almost fell off because they don't fit snug.  I am seeing results and thanks for my friends, family, and WW I am feeling good while doing it.

So my first goal is 5%...I have 2.5 to go.

At my next goal...10% and 20lbs the following will happen:
I will post a picture of myself in my starting weight
I will post a picture of myself in my current weight
I will give my starting weight
I will throw my spanx away. :)

Keep cheering me on!

Frustration

Well, this week was a really good "back on track" week for me.  I planned meals with lots of lean meats, veggies, and a carb or two.  Other than wednesday (which was my bad day), I've been right on target; and even then I stayed within limits using only a few of my weekly points.  My frustration comes when I look at the scale and see the same number I've seen the last two weeks.  The number will drop and rise like I'm on a teeter totter.  At one point the scale said I've everything from gained a pound, to lost 9.5lbs.  I know, I know "don't check your scale", but I've done it for so long that its natural habit and I like being able to see how my food impacts  my body, it helps keep me in line with my motivation. I was supposed to start my exercise plan this week, but the cold and snow have been good excuses for me....yesterday?  ooo uhhh iiiii had to wash my hair.  The excuses are unending in that area, the truth is getting started is hard, once I get into it I can go all the time.  Just one Jenn, just once.  All in all though, as frustrating as it has been, I've feel so much better about what I'm putting in my body, my self-control, and my healthy decisions; I even like the fact that my body did not like me wednesday night because of what I put in it-I had heard people talk about that feeling but had never experienced it for myself.  Today's plan is to drink lots of water and tea, eat lots of fruit and veggies, some chicken and I think either asparagus or brussels sprouts....mmmmmmm....I may end the day by enjoying either a hot cocoa or a skinny cow chocolate mint icecream sandwich.  YAY!

Today was worth being bad. Starbucks, muffin, pizza, Soda!!!! I am happy.

I'm down 9.5 lbs! Good good

my first struggle

Well I'd have to say this week have proved to be a bit more challenging.  I made the mistake of not planning out meals and options well.  With that said, I still have been on track, but it has not been a breeze and I do not feel consistent this week.  Some days I went over, some I've been under, this cannot be a good habit.  I have even been terrible about tracking my food.....I've done it, but I wait til 11pm at night...again...not good.  So, I will be writing down a list of dinner plans for the week starting tonight and shopping for just those things.  DON'T LOSE MOMENTUM JENN! btw...-7lbs

A good feeling

You know its a good feeling when you begin to not only lose weight, but you see your stomach doesn't hang out quite as far, or your pants fit just a little bit better, or you don't feel comsumed by food but rather great when you know you've make good choices for that day. 

Back again!

I know its been a bit since I've posted-business has consumed me. 

Here's my Saturday weigh-in results: -5.4lbs!  I'm so excited that this seems to be working for me.  I don't feel deprived, and I'm learning a lot of new recipes.

I had a down side, when I entered my new information into the computer it informed me that I was losing weight too fast.  This concerned me because I don't want to do anything unhealthy.  After evaluating my circumstances, I've decided I'm not doing anything wrong and this is how my body is handling things.  I am eating my maximum points plus using around half of my weekly allowance points.  I'm eating a great mix of fruits, veggies, water, carbs, calories, as well as indulgences.  I don't feel deprived or overwhelmed nor do I feel like I'm being a Natzi about my habits, I give myself a bunch of wiggle room particularly with weekends and nights.  I'm also remaining active at work, and have yet to add in any extra exercise (besides shoveling the driveway). 

This weeks meals have included: steak, asparagus, and parmesan mushrooms; chicken and brown rice stir-fry; chicken fajitas; margarita pizza; and vegetable soup.  All of these were accompanied by fruit, cottage cheese, and other cheeses. 

My treats have included my soy lattes that I love, jello cocktail, chocolate and peanut butter graham cracker treats, bagel and cream cheese, and a small slice of cake with icing. 

Do I sound neglected???? nope! lol I'm enjoying this adventure and feel...and look....better and better everyday. 

My goals: find two more recipes to try, find a new dessert that I like and will both satisfy and keep me in my limits.

a long journey

I told someone recently "I spend 26 years of my life living unhealthy, now I will spend the next 26 years being healthy".  I am committed to do that, whether that means I am inconveniencing myself (or sometimes others).  This so far has been about the weight, cuz lets face it, I need to lose some and when those pounds melt away I get tunnel vision.  This morning I realized, again, its not about the weight (although I enjoy losing it), its about being healthy, setting a good example, and treating my body as the temple it is.  That's why I'm doing this post, not to lose weight and brag about it, so people can see my journey and hold me accountable as well as may be feel encouraged in the same way.  My friend Elizabeth said, "I don't care if it takes me 3 years, I'm going to get this right this time."  That stuck with me because she's right, it doesn't how matter how long it takes if you're willing to spend the rest of you life on that track.  It might take me a year before I feel comfortable, and I'm sure I'll make mistakes the rest of my life, but I have the rest of my life to live it right. 

I once told someone that people who change in an instant shouldn't be trusted because they didn't earn it.  People who crawl through the desert to find water are real; they've earned it, they appreciate it, and they don't take it for granted.  People who sit around and wait for it to rain in the desert are lazy and will probably die waiting or if they do get a drop of rain they wait around for the next one.  They spend their whole life sitting in one place waiting for change to come instead of discovering it themselves. 

To those people (who I used to be) I say to you: Be adventurous, who knows what you'll discover along the way through the desert.

Well today is good. Best i can tell i've lost 4.5 lbs. I'm hungrier today even though i've had lots of protein.

Well i think i need to plan weekends better. I didn't go over points (I don't think) but i have eaten things that are hard to track. Tips?

After my second weigh in i'm excited to say i survived birthday party with mexican food and cup cakes... -2.5lbs

Losing Weight?

So I think my Saturday weigh in is going to look good.  I feel like I'm down, and I cheated and monitor my scale regularly.  It took a huge effort to use all my points today because I didn't have an afternoon snack so i had to cram it into even meals.  I had steak tonight, asparagus, an orange, thin wheat bagel with butter and cheese, two cookies and a chai tea.  all totally my final 18 points.  not too shabby.

Good News

Well yesterday I was a little discouraged in the morning because I had gained 2 lbs (everyone assured me it was water weight), I was sure that I gained weight because even though I was eating all my points it was so much food I was constantly feeling full.  Well this morning I seemed to have dropped all and plus an additional 2lbs.  Now I know there is fluctuation in weight, but I also know my body's weight pretty and and can tell you as long as I don't go up tomorrow morning I have officially lost 2lbs.  I have been feeling pretty bad about not exercising yet, but have told myself I'd grace myself into this.

Friday night we're all going to dinner to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday, and it is at a very unhealthy restaurant, so I've been game planning on how to best accomplish eating here since I have weigh-in the next morning.  YIKES!

O and I decided that when I've lost 10% of my weight, I will reveal my starting weight, as well as my starting picture....EVEN BIGGER YIKES!

Well...i gained 2lbs as of last night and forgot my well planned lunch today. All i can do is laugh and acknowledge this is day 4 for me. Grace.

This is it....

I have decided to open a blog about my adventure with becoming healthy.

I'm hoping by opening this, that I'll stay accountable in the hard times, receive encouragement and support as hopefully give some back.

If anyone has advice or suggestions let me know.

I'll be posting some crazy details on my adventure as well as some pictures, progress (or heaven forbid regress).

....so...

YAY!