Playfully healthy

So I have started to only post once a week, but I couldn't resist the urge to comment on my latest finding.  Throughout the last couple of weeks, I realized something, I have slowly started to make a community of healthy strivers around me.  Virtually everyday, I am approached or approach someone in my work, church, online who want to talk health.  WOW! Is this really who I am becoming??? Someone who is known by my friends, co-workers, and family as a go-to person for encouragement, advice, experiences.  I hope so, not for my own pride, but rather for my own support.  I find when I am told or tell someone that we should choose an orange over icecream and can have the icecream tomorrow if we plan for it, that not only do I make the right choices, but I also feel like I've taken yet another step in the right direction.  Community and buddies are really the way to go.  When you make healthy living a part of your every day community and conversation its really hard to not make it a part of you.  So rather than be embarrassed about losing weight and joining weight watchers, I suck it up and shout it loud and proud! its a good way to create accountability. :)

Reviewing the old

Well, this week I've lost a whopping 28.8lbs.  I biked 16 miles and went roller skating with friends.  Another successful week. 

Here's this weeks review....
I have never seen myself as fat.  O, I saw the numbers on the scale and in my mind i KNEW I was obese, but I never saw it in the mirror or photos (like everyone says you're supposed to).  I tried and tried and tried, but couldn't see myself for what I was....unhealthy.  It wasn't until about 25 minutes ago when I was looking through old photos of me over the last year and a half that I finally saw it. HOLY COW! I mean wow, why didn't anyone tell me! I look at those photos and think "how in the sweet world did I get like this?!?!?!?"  I mean, my face! my legs!, my ARMS! o wow....I had no idea.  I guess, my life has finally had a reality check.  Here I have had a crazy year full of out of control circumstances...yet thanks to that ride, I have finally seen out out of control my life has always been.  Emotionally, mentally, physically.  I can't believe I am going to admit this-but thank God I was hit by a car.  I SAID IT! I would not be here where I am (on the path to health and balance) if it had not been for that. What a long journey back from chaos, but the promise land is worth it.

How I got here.

Today I got an "anchor" for losing 25lbs.  I had decided earlier this week that I would post exactly how I got to be 247lbs.  First, let me first say that I have thus far exercised 5 times this week for a grand total of 35miles on the bike with medium resistance.

Okay so let me start by saying that as a kid I had bad cravings.  My tongue loved the taste of certain foods.  Specifically I remember sneaking food all the time: sugar, butter (yes butter), chocolate bark, peanut butter, candy, cookies, etc.  As I got older, say pre-teen, I remember my first emotional binge.  I was having a hard time feeling loved and accepted (as every other girl) and I just thought to myself "if I just eat as much as my dad does, he'll be impressed".  If you know my dad at all, he is skinny as a toothpick but can put it away like a NFL superstar.  So one morning, I copied my dad exactly with 4 eggo waffles and a boat full of butter and syrup.  My dad was NOT impressed, instead he scolded me (as any good parent should do) and tried to get it through my head that that was way to much for a little girl.  Instead of being able to receive the correcting I took it as an act of unlove and an emotional scar.  That was the beginning of my emotional binges; and since I was homeschool and often times spent a lot of time alone in the house, I had plenty of opportunity to eat whatever, whenever.  I snuck food all the time.  My first weigh-in in highschool was a shocker: I was 5'6, 14 years old and 189lbs.  My self-esteem was rock bottom, I had a food addiction and fed myself to make myself feel better.  This continued throughout highschool, by the time I graduated I was a fantastic 225lbs.  After highschool is when the "dieting" began.  Mostly, I struggled with starving, fasting, bulimic, binging type behaviors, where I was either not eating at all, or I was eating everything in site.  I took several exercise classes in junior college and the did help my heart to improve but never stuck with any of them.  Over the years I began to balance out.  I had created some nasty eating habits, but overall I was consistant and the binging and starving had stopped.  I started my second degree in 2007 and that is when my weight shot up to the 245lbs range.  After two years of surviving school with lattes, late night dinners, and no time to exercise, I was done in.  It was after I started my full-time job that I began to take a passion in caring about my body.  I see patients who have been on the same road as me and after 50-60 years they are unable to care for themselves in any way, shape, or form.  I started working out more consistantly (not enough to lose weight but enough to improve my endurance).  My sisters wedding was around that time and I was determined to fit into this dress.  I starved and worked my butt into that dressed. From there I felt motivated to continue.  I put a meal plan in place where my late night foods for gone (no eating after 6pm), my breakfast should be healthy and my lunch I could do whatever.  I lost around 10lbs with that.  That was when I hit by a car (we all know this story so I will keep it short), in a matter of 2 weeks I went from 235 to 225 (and that was before my jaw was wired shut) then down to 220.  Every complimented me on how great I looked and my only thought was "yeah, this is NOT an ideal weight loss plan".  So I went into survival mode and after going on some anti-depressants to get me through the healing time, I managed to gain every bit back of my 247lbs.  I had become more active physically, when my body would let me, and just found I saw myself for what I was....Someone whose life was out of control and on a very destructive path.  I got off the anti-depressants, and started on a journey to gain health and balance in my life.  That brings us to december when I decided I had spent 26 years eating whatever I wanted and leading myself down a path of misery; now I was going to spend the next 26 years gaining health and happiness. 

And that's how I approach my weight loss.  Everything I do points to something healthy I can keep up for the rest of my lift. :)

10%

Well, today I weighed in and hit my first goal...10% of my body weight.  So I originally said at that point I'd post my original weight and a picture. ok ok ok so i didn't think it'd be difficult to do once i got to this point but i'm true to my word, so.....
Original weight....247lbs
Current weight....219.6lbs
Original pant size....18/20 (more 20 than 18, but i squeezed)
Current pant size....16/18
Original shirt size....XXL
Current shirt size....L/XL
Changes I've noticed....I can bend over without feeling like I'm going to lose my breath.  I can walk up stairs without panting.  I am slowly getting high level activity endurance (ie running, biking).  People can tell I'm losing weight without me telling them, I'm not able to wear pants I was wearing in December, I make wiser food choices without trying, people are asking me for advice and accountability, I feel successful.
The biggest thing is I don't feel like a hypocrite anymore in my job field; I feel like I believe what I teach.  I feel healthy, I enjoy healthy options and don't feel deprived, I can eat whatever I want, I am proud of myself.

My next goals:
Weight....199lbs
Pants....14/16
Shirt....L
Food....More red meat and fruit
Activities....Exercise 2-3 times a week

Hard Work

Well I am telling you, weight loss is a roller coaster of an experience.  You celebrate you victories, look down on stagnancy or inclines and over all are probably never 100% happy with the results ("if only i could get rid of my flabby arms, saggy butt, rolling thighs, etc").  I was just venting yesterday that my appetite had changed (which seemed like an awesome the week before when i nibbled at a small portion of icecream instead of gorging on 2 cups or it without hesitating or thinking about it).  I was not hungry,  food was boring, gross tasting, nothing sounded good.  Then still needing to eat 23points at 8pm i forced down half a 11point chipotle burrito bowl, it then came back up around 10pm.   I was feeling flabby and fat (despite my sister's great compliment on how skinny im looking).  I was frustrated that the scale had not moved much at all.   Well, today was much more of the same, no appetite, not satisfaction with what i ate (well may be the piece of garlic bread), nothing.  AND YET, i wore a smaller size shirt today, noticed my scrub pants actually had room in the legs, and biggest of all...i wore a size down jean that i honestly didn't think i'd fit into yet.  the scale is looking smaller today and my weigh-in should be very promising.  I say all this to say, i'm sure i'm going to go through seasons of good and bad times with this weight loss and (heaven forbid) even a gain or two.  But the ultimate goal remains the same, be healthy for the next 26 years.  And i'm on the track that leads to that.

Well into a jouney...

Here I am 18lbs down and it sometimes feels like a billion more to go.  I am settled into a new way of eating and enjoy the adventure of trying new things.  I love my meetings and my leaders.  I have all the support one person could ever imagine.  My friends Elizabeth, Laura, Morgan, and Margo have embarked with me and I could NOT be doing this without them.  They inspire and uplift me.  One thing I've learned-food is controlled by me, not the other way around.  That means I shouldn't spend two minutes stressing over it.  I have provided myself with lots of outlets to help keep ME in control.  Life is so pleasant right now.  Outside of weight and physical health so many other things are coming into balance and control.  I am enjoying picking things I like to eat that seems bad but fits easily into my healthy living-here's a few:

Stir Fry
Steak and potatos
Any Chicken
Asparagus
Cinnamon Sugar Bagels
Soy Lattes
Tea
Fajitas
Shrimp in a Lemon Sauce
Dove Chocolates
Apples
Pineapples
Chipotle
Jimmy John's
Breakfast Sandwiches
CHEESE!!!!

As you can see, I am suffering. lol  HERE'S TO HEALTHY LIVING!!!

A needed update

Well, it has been a while since I've updated I realize and I am down 13lbs! I'm starting to notice I look slimmer (I won't use the word skinny yet), my pants are getting saggy (especially in the butt area), and I am no longer wearing spanx.  I am very motivated right now to stay on track.  With that said, Valentine's day was a little crazy; lets just say I started with Krispie Kreme and ended with Cheesecake Factory.  YET!!!!!! I have still lost weight this week.  I am drinking more water naturally, crave fruit, search for protein and enjoy a small sweet every day.  I think filling fulfilled and not deprived with the biggest most important factor with this.  I am also excited about the nice weather, because I hope to start working out again soon, although I haven't decided where yet if anyone has FREE ideas, or ALMOST FREE ideas.  I am hoping the working gym opens up again soon since the "black flood".  Well,  there isn't much more to say other than if you have been following me-thank you I appreciate your interest and support in this journey.  Also, I hope that through this people can feel encouraged.